How to be a Millionaire

 

Regis Philbin (and, in syndication, Meredith Viera) ask us, "Who wants to be a Millionaire?"  The answer, of course, is pretty simple: everyone wants to be a millionaire.  Magazines, infomercials, E-Mail Spam and bookstore shelves are jam packed with advice on how we can all become millionaires, but I'm afriad I have a sad piece of news for you: all this advice is bunk.  If you want to be a millionaire, don't work hard and save your pennies, don't invest in stocks and bonds, leave out lotto tickets and forget about game shows: just go to Vietnam.

My advice is not because the items that sustain life (food, shelter, X-Box 360) are so cheap in Vietnam.  No, the reason practically every Vietnamese is a millionaire is that their currency, the dong, is currently worth 0.000057 US Dollars.  To reverse the equation, one US Dollar is worth 17,500 dong or so.  When I landed in Ho Chi Minh City (though it'll always be Saigon to me), I went to the ATM and withdrew three million dong (about $170).  I'm a millionaire!  When the machine spit out my receipt, the available balance in my checking account was over 49 million.  Woohoo!

So, get that nose away from that nasty old grindstone and fly to Hanoi or Denang right away.  Just be ready to invest at least six figures in dinner.