Become a hermit, Kermit
Kermit Yuen
50 Ways to Leave your Lover
Paul Simon had a decent hit with the tune, "50 Ways to Leave your Lover." I really like the song, but Paul shortchanged us on the ways there are to leave your lover. I don't doubt him, mind you, I just think between myself and the Internet community we should be able to verify there really are 50 ways to leave your lover.
For this list, we'll take Paul's point of view and just have men's names in the list. Nothing crude, please. E-mail your suggestions here, including what name or e-mail address you'd like me to post with your suggestion. If I receive more than 50, I'll post more than 50:
|
Way to Leave your Lover |
Who Wrote It |
|
| 1 |
Just slip out the back, Jack |
Paul Simon |
| 2 |
Make a new plan, Stan |
Paul Simon |
| 3 |
No need to be coy, Roy |
Paul Simon |
| 4 |
Hop on the bus, Gus (no need to discuss much) |
Paul Simon |
| 5 |
Just drop off the key, Lee (and get yourself free) |
Paul Simon |
|
|
|
|
| 6 |
Get a new start, Art |
Mary Jane |
| 7 |
Give her a call, Paul |
Mary Jane |
| 8 |
Start seeing a guy, Mordici |
Mary Jane |
| 9 |
Start seeing a girl, Earl |
Mary Jane |
| 10 |
Take a hike, Mike |
Mary Jane |
| 11 |
Get big and fat, Matt |
Mary Jane |
| 12 |
Smell like an old cod, Todd |
Mary Jane |
| 13 |
Just bike around France, Lance |
Mary Jane |
| 14 |
Send her some spam, Sam |
Mary Jane |
| 15 |
Light a new spark, Mark |
Mary Jane |
| 16 |
Weep, wail and sob, Bob |
Mary Jane |
| 17 |
Chase a new skirt, Bert |
Mary Jane |
| 18 |
Be a real jerk, Kirk |
Mary Jane |
| 19 |
Just stop carin’, Aaron |
Mary Jane |
| 20 |
Yank off the rug, Doug |
Mary Jane |
| 21 |
Drink an extra liter, Peter |
Mary Jane |
| 22 |
Light a new spark, Clark |
Mary Jane |
| 23 |
Come home real late, Nate |
Mary Jane |
| 24 |
Mount a unicycle, Michael |
Mary Jane |
| 25 |
Get on your way, Jay |
Mary Jane |
| 26 |
Go on the lam - Sam |
Steve H. |
| 27 |
Act like you're deaf, Jeff |
Jeff R. |
| 28 |
Stop dressing with style, Kyle |
Jeff R. |
| 29 |
Start being rude, Dude |
Luster G. |
| 30 |
Find a different bed, Ted |
Luster G. |
| 31 |
Drive away in a Duster, Luster |
Luster G. |
| 32 |
Hide in a cave, Dave. |
David G. |
| 33 |
Check your Rola-dex, Tex |
Hal H. |
| 34 |
March out the door, Thor |
Hal H. |
| 35 |
Find a new pal, Hal |
Hal H. |
| 36 |
Star sniffin' some glue, Hugh |
Hal H. |
| 37 |
Just pop a few pills, Bill |
Hal H. |
| 38 |
Stop being so phat, Pat |
Mary Jane |
| 39 |
Just act all whack, Zach |
Mary Jane |
| 40 |
See a new miss, Chris |
Mary Jane |
| 41 |
Get caught lying, Ryan |
Mary Jane |
| 42 |
Just get up and leave, Steve |
Mary Jane |
| 43 |
Hop a fast plane, Wayne |
Mary Jane |
| 44 |
Take a meander, Alexander |
Mary Jane |
| 45 |
Tell Adrian bye-bye, Sly |
Mary Jane |
| 46 |
No need to be suave, Rob |
Mary Jane |
| 47 |
Act like an automan, Stan |
Mary Jane |
| 48 |
Head for the hills, Wills |
Mary Jane |
| 49 |
Bake a new cake, Jake |
Mary Jane |
| 50 |
No need to be smart, Bart |
Mary Jane |
|
Become a hermit, Kermit |
Kermit Yuen |
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